Friday, 11 October 2019

My Appearance On Red Ice: The Closing Of A Circle

Over the five or so years in which I've been creating content online a few golden rules which I adopted early have stuck with, never engage in drama and don't do soul searching. Nevertheless I think I can afford a little soul searching the day after my appearance on Red Ice. 

 You see, I was actually asked to appear on Red Ice some years ago after an article I wrote became a big hit. The article was my analysis of Sargon's individualism, which then became so popular it even became a fine video by Aaron Kasparov. Henrik from Red Ice Radio asked me to appear on his show to discuss my article because, back then, these critiques of individualism weren't as well known as they are today. 

 For me the problem was that I'd only ever done audio once before, an appearance on Millennial Woes channel after Brexit. I originally agreed to appear but nerves and doubt began to set in quite quickly and as the date grew closer my angst increased until eventually I made my excuses and cancelled my slot. After all, I wanted the chance to promote my blog but I'd barely ever done any audio, let alone appear live on the biggest channel in our circles. 

 I knew my stuff, and I knew that I knew my stuff, yet at the same time I was also keenly aware that I speak with a heavy working class accent many Americans might not be able to understand. But more than that was a gnawing sense of ''Who am I to be lecturing people?''. Working Class people from Tyneside have a mentality drummed into them from infancy, it's one of conformity and not getting ideas above your station, don't stick out, don't be a dick, don't be cringe.

 I joked about all of this with Henrik while we were off-air and it was cathartic for me personally to be able to close this circle, but I can't help but wonder how many other people are being held from ''speaking out'' not by political correctness, but by something more mundane and innate to the English psyche....

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